Yes, you read that right. We. Are. Fully. Funded. AMAZING!!!! Who would have thought a year and a half ago we would be able to raise around $30,000?! Well, God assured us that He was not a poor God, and that this was important to His heart. We listened, and He was faithful. Here is a list of some of the different ways money has come in:
*My parents started us off with our initial fees when we started the process back in September of '09 (I think I need about 10 blog posts just to talk about how amazing my parents have been throughout this process. They have supported us way beyond finances. Sometimes I think they might be more excited about the twins than we are! They have simply been amazing, and will be spending two weeks with us in Ethiopia).
*We had a Simply Love t-shirt fundraiser.
*I stood in line at the racetrack in order to get Coach Calipari (one of the most talked about college coaches in the world!) to sign a special Maker's Mark bottle so we could sell it for our adoption.
*We managed to get 7 signed basketballs from the entire 2009-2010 University of Kentucky Basketball team, including John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Eric Bledsoe and Coach Calipari. We sold them all for a grand total of $2800.
*We had some VERY generous donations made, large and small. It blew our minds every time we received one of these in the mail or in our Paypal account.
*We used all of our print sales from our photography business to fund our adoption.
*We sold bunches of hats knit by my wonderful Norwegian mother. Speaking of which, they are still for sale under "The Hat Store" tab at the top of the page. :)
*And finally, we had one final and fantastic T-shirt & Hoodie fundraiser. I don't want to brag, but I've been told several times that the Hoodies are people's "favorite hoodie ever!" We raised enough to fully fund our adoption, and then were able to give $200 to Project Hopeful's, Hope+ Sisterhood.
It has been a humbling and beautiful experience to watch God provide for every need in this adoption process. And what an honor to have so many people be a part of this journey by supporting us through prayer and finances. You ALL have played a part in this! So for those of you who are afraid to start the adoption process because you don't want to fund raise or ask people for help, I'd suggest you really ask God about it. I think it is wonderful if you are able to fully fund your adoption. That would be amazing! But if you aren't moving forward with your adoption simply because you don't want to ask others for help....well, you seriously need to get over it. I say that in the nicest way possible too. Don't let others miss out on the incredible opportunity to be a part of your adoption journey in this way. Not everyone is going to adopt a child, but there are many who want to help others adopt. Let others do that for you! Let God use others to bless you, and show you how amazing the body of Christ is!
As of today, we leave in 13 days for Ethiopia. In 15, we will be meeting our miracles for the first time. Can you imagine what that will be like?!!! I can't wait to share every minute of it with you all!
Our agency has told us that delays are very likely, and while we are mentally preparing ourselves for delays, we are hoping for smooth sailing. :) We are hoping and praying for a smooth court process, and for a speedy embassy date after that. Would you hope and pray with us? On the 18th of January, we will stand before an Ethiopian judge and say "yes" to our children. I can't wait.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
New Musings from the Car & Two Weeks to Ethiopia...
Eight years ago (almost exactly), Wes and I started dating. On our first big date, we took a day trip to Cincinnati (about hour and a half away). We went to a bookstore downtown, sat down on the floor, and read books. I felt totally comfortable doing this. Wes felt weird because people had to squeeze by us. I thought it was sweet and intimate. After that, we went to a little Build-A-Bear store, and got a little moose who we named, Wendell Eugene. It was a fantastic first date.
Today, eight years later, we had our alarms set for 5:30am. Reason? We had to drive an hour and a half to Cincinnati to see if they would let us walk-in for a fingerprint appointment. You see, our prints expire in March, and while we hope we'll be back in the States by then, we can't be sure, so we had to get them updated. I spent an hour on the phone with USCIS yesterday trying to get them scheduled before we leave on January 13th (they gave us an appointment for January 20th....yeah, a little late). Well, we didn't get much help, so we decided to take a chance, and hope that the staff at the Application Support Center would squeeze us in without an appointment. To make a long story short, we walked in at 8am this morning, and the staff in Cincinnati were AWEsome! They were so kind and helpful, and very understanding. They took our prints, and at about 8:40am we were done. We breathed several huge sighs of relief, got in our car, and decided to take the day and kind of recreate our first date, and then add on a couple of new things.
First we walked along the riverbank out in the cold winter morning. This was our view.
Then we went and saw the new Chronicles of Narnia movie (which was awesome! wes and i were both crying in the end), after which we wandered into this weird store with all kinds of medieval swords and garb, including Harry Potter attire. So of course I had to sport the Gryffindor cloak. (Thank goodness the sorting hat didn't put me in Slytherin!)
After the sword store, we went and had lunch at fairly crappy Irish Pub. We are always tempted by any kind of cool pub, but this one was part of a chain. We should have known better. From the crappy pub, we headed over to Rainbow Hugs. Isn't that the most ridiculous store name?! We think so. It made us laugh each time we said it, but basically it is just like a Build A Bear workshop. Wes got the horse and name him Chester the Chestnut Horse. I got the fox and named him Mr. Fox. We are so original. These two little guys will go to Alex and Eliana.
From Rainbow Hugs we went to Barnes & Noble and had a delicious peppermint mocha while reading relationship questions from a really weird relationship book. Wes decided to journal the events of the day.
And after Barnes & Noble, we stopped by the GAP outlet, bought a few things, and then headed home, where we sat and chatted in the babies' room for about an hour. From there we headed over to Olive Garden where they had a massive wait, so we decided to utilize our free time by hopping over to the mall to get some hair product for our twins. The people at Sephora are seriously great! Of course, as you saw in the video (if you actually made it that far into the video), we bought something. From there we headed back over to Olive Garden, had a delicious meal of Calimari, Lasagna, Chicken Parmesan, and Salad.
It was truly a lovely day. I can't express to you how much I love this man, but I seriously do. He has been an amazing husband and I can't wait to see him as a father. He will be amazing at that to. I love you, Wesley!
And finally, I leave you with a couple of pics of our little ones that were taken on Christmas Eve. Of course, I can't show their complete pictures yet because we haven't passed court, but hopefully in about 2 1/2 weeks, we will debut their pictures here on the blog. I can't wait!
Oh, and here is the latest "Musings from the Car"! Come on now....you know you've missed our musings. :) It is six minutes long, so if you watch it all the way through, I will be impressed.
Today, eight years later, we had our alarms set for 5:30am. Reason? We had to drive an hour and a half to Cincinnati to see if they would let us walk-in for a fingerprint appointment. You see, our prints expire in March, and while we hope we'll be back in the States by then, we can't be sure, so we had to get them updated. I spent an hour on the phone with USCIS yesterday trying to get them scheduled before we leave on January 13th (they gave us an appointment for January 20th....yeah, a little late). Well, we didn't get much help, so we decided to take a chance, and hope that the staff at the Application Support Center would squeeze us in without an appointment. To make a long story short, we walked in at 8am this morning, and the staff in Cincinnati were AWEsome! They were so kind and helpful, and very understanding. They took our prints, and at about 8:40am we were done. We breathed several huge sighs of relief, got in our car, and decided to take the day and kind of recreate our first date, and then add on a couple of new things.
First we walked along the riverbank out in the cold winter morning. This was our view.
Then we went and saw the new Chronicles of Narnia movie (which was awesome! wes and i were both crying in the end), after which we wandered into this weird store with all kinds of medieval swords and garb, including Harry Potter attire. So of course I had to sport the Gryffindor cloak. (Thank goodness the sorting hat didn't put me in Slytherin!)
After the sword store, we went and had lunch at fairly crappy Irish Pub. We are always tempted by any kind of cool pub, but this one was part of a chain. We should have known better. From the crappy pub, we headed over to Rainbow Hugs. Isn't that the most ridiculous store name?! We think so. It made us laugh each time we said it, but basically it is just like a Build A Bear workshop. Wes got the horse and name him Chester the Chestnut Horse. I got the fox and named him Mr. Fox. We are so original. These two little guys will go to Alex and Eliana.
From Rainbow Hugs we went to Barnes & Noble and had a delicious peppermint mocha while reading relationship questions from a really weird relationship book. Wes decided to journal the events of the day.
And after Barnes & Noble, we stopped by the GAP outlet, bought a few things, and then headed home, where we sat and chatted in the babies' room for about an hour. From there we headed over to Olive Garden where they had a massive wait, so we decided to utilize our free time by hopping over to the mall to get some hair product for our twins. The people at Sephora are seriously great! Of course, as you saw in the video (if you actually made it that far into the video), we bought something. From there we headed back over to Olive Garden, had a delicious meal of Calimari, Lasagna, Chicken Parmesan, and Salad.
It was truly a lovely day. I can't express to you how much I love this man, but I seriously do. He has been an amazing husband and I can't wait to see him as a father. He will be amazing at that to. I love you, Wesley!
And finally, I leave you with a couple of pics of our little ones that were taken on Christmas Eve. Of course, I can't show their complete pictures yet because we haven't passed court, but hopefully in about 2 1/2 weeks, we will debut their pictures here on the blog. I can't wait!
 |
| Alexander in his newest overalls! |
 |
| Eliana's beautiful eyes, and cute curly hair. |
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I'm Scared....
When it all comes down to it, I’m scared. I’m scared that God’s timing is not going to look how I want it to look. I’m worried, stressed, and the anxiety hanging out in my muscles is enough to tell me a nice massage would be great right now.
15 months ago, Wes and I both got this insane amount of peace regarding international adoption. In the same week, and individually, we got this sense that we were supposed to start the process to adopt a child from Nepal. It was crazy. We had no money, and we had no idea how it was all going to pan out.
A lot of things have happened in 15 months. 6 months into the process with Nepal, with our dossier already in country, things started to get really sticky with Nepal adoptions. The U.S. government was handing out warning after warning about adopting from Nepal. Other countries were closing down their Nepal adoption programs. It didn’t look good. After a tortuous few days of praying and discussing, we finally decided to start the process to adopt from Ethiopia. That was in March of 2010. On May 20th, our dossier flew away to Ethiopia. On September 9th we got “the phone call”. We had been matched with 3 month old twins. AND, it was a boy and a girl. God had blown our minds. Then, we waited 5 tortuous weeks from the time court reopened, to the time we got our court date (I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but when everyone else at your agency has gotten theirs 2 weeks after court reopens, you start thinking that maybe your paperwork got used as a doorstop at the courthouse, and nobody is every going to find it.) This was the absolute WORST part of the wait for me. I think it was especially hard because our agency didn’t know it was going to take that long either, so they kept saying, “Surely it will be tomorrow.” There were a lot of “tomorrows” in the wait, which make it WAY worse. This was due to NO fault of their own. They had no control over the wait once it was submitted to court. As a matter of fact, our agency has been supremely thorough about EVERYTHING which makes me feel a whole heck of a lot better about the whole process.
And here I sit today, in front of this computer screen, realizing we are a mere 3 weeks away from our departure for Ethiopia. And yes….I am scared. At least that’s the best way I know how to describe how I am feeling right now. This past week I have been a bundle of nerves, which is not the norm for me. I am usually pretty level-headed, and a fairly positive person. I always try to see the good in every situation, which at times really annoys people. I’ll admit it. But….that’s not me right now.
I’m convinced that blogging, and reading other adoption blogs is both a blessing and a curse. I have been reading the blogs in my blog list daily for the last 9 months or so. I have gotten to know different mothers and fathers. Some of them I have even become good friends with. The support of this community has been a rock for me in times of uncertainty. It has been a constant. Everyone has cheered for us with every milestone we have passed. Our friends here in Lexington have gone to Queen of Sheba & Outback Steakhouse for more milestone celebrations than I care to admit. It has been amazing.
But now that we are close to the end of our wait, I read these blogs and hang on to them like a lifeline. This is where the “curse” part comes in. There have been several families who have encountered delays in their process. Court dates have been changed, important papers have gone missing, and some have even had referrals withdrawn. It is daunting to say the least. And that’s when I get scared. I think, “What if this happens to us? What makes us so special? We aren’t any better than the rest of these families? We haven’t prayed more, or earned more spiritual points. We are just like everyone else.” Worry and stress abound, and I am lost in a see of fear. I start thinking, “What if the birth mother comes back for them? What if our case is delayed? What if we have to wait months or even years to bring them home? What if we don’t have enough money?” Yeah, I’ve been thinking ALL of these things all week now. It has not been very edifying.
Which brings me to this very moment, to the here and now. And right now, I’m going to take a step beyond every one of these feelings and declare what I know to be true….
Our God is faithful. He has provided every single penny for every single part of this process. We have never lacked at all. When roadblocks in this journey came up (there are still things I have not shared on this blog about our adoption process, but don’t worry, the time will come when I will), He told us, “It will be okay. Just trust me. I will take care of everything.” And He did. I can’t count the tears of joy I have cried over this past year, but every one of those tears is due to the miraculous and amazing God I call Father. So now, in the midst of my fear and worry, I can still say that He is Lord, and He is above all things. What if there is a delay? He is still good, and He is still in control. What if the birth mother comes back for them? God is still good, and He is still in control.
I am not in control of any of this. Wes is not in control of any of this. The only thing we have control over is the way we choose to respond to the roadblocks and bumps that come our way. That doesn’t mean we can’t be sad at times, or that we can’t hurt. We have done that plenty, and no matter what happens, we will still have times where hurt and sadness overwhelm us. In the end, though, I choose to place my hope and trust in the One who has provided for every last thing in my life….the One who has never failed, and the One who has always been faithful to pour out His love and joy in the most difficult moments. I hope that I’m not coming across as some goody two-shoes, or a super spiritual nut. I’m not. I hurt just as much as the next person when difficult things come my way, and sometimes I forget that God really is in control and has my best interests at heart. But I don’t ever want to lose hope. I don’t want my life to be all about me. I want it to count for something, no matter what happens.
So in the midst of my pain, I will still cry out to the One who saved me from an eternity without Him. I will still trust in His goodness, no matter how dreadful the circumstances seem around me. I will remember that this adoption was His idea in the first place. I will remember that He has provided all the money to cover this adoption. I will remember that He has kept our babies safe and healthy in their orphanage while we wait to meet them.
I love my God so much, and I know that He loves me without limits. That is the only thing in life that I could never bear to lose.
I love my God so much, and I know that He loves me without limits. That is the only thing in life that I could never bear to lose.
T-Shirts and Hoodies for Christmas?
Hey guys, just a small little update. Our buddy who did the final printing of our shirts and hoodies finished them up on Saturday while we were shooting a wedding in Morehead. Wes and I started packing up the shirts at around 9:30pm on Sunday night, when we realized that we would never be able to get the big cozy hoodies into those small tyvek envelopes that fit the t-shirts so well. So at about midnight, I headed over to trusty ol' Walmart and bought tons of boxes for the hoodies. Wes went to bed at that point, and then I was up to 3:45am on Sunday night/Monday morning rolling, labeling, taping and packing up all the hoodies and t-shirts! It took four trips into the post office from my car, with boxes piled high, a long line, and a really fast postal service worker, but we got them all in the mail. The woman helping me seemed to think all the packages would get out to everyone by Christmas. We shall see! It was a good 10-15 minutes of talking about our adoption too. Pretty great!
So hopefully, we'll see a Christmas miracle and all the shirts and hoodies will be delivered on time! :)
By the way, we did our random drawing for our gift card giveaway! Rachel from the Love With Abandon blog was the first winner as #54 in the list. And Danielle, one of my former brides, was the second winner. Yay! I'm still waiting to hear back from Rachel, so if you know her, give her a shout out and let her know she's getting a $50 Visa gift card, and I need her address!
So there you have it! And today or tomorrow, I'll send an update with the final numbers for our fundraiser! It's gonna be good!!!
Thank you to everyone who helped make this fundraiser a HUGE success!!! Woohoo!!!!!
So hopefully, we'll see a Christmas miracle and all the shirts and hoodies will be delivered on time! :)
By the way, we did our random drawing for our gift card giveaway! Rachel from the Love With Abandon blog was the first winner as #54 in the list. And Danielle, one of my former brides, was the second winner. Yay! I'm still waiting to hear back from Rachel, so if you know her, give her a shout out and let her know she's getting a $50 Visa gift card, and I need her address!
 |
| Rachel's winning ticket! |
 |
| Danielle's winning ticket! |
So there you have it! And today or tomorrow, I'll send an update with the final numbers for our fundraiser! It's gonna be good!!!
Thank you to everyone who helped make this fundraiser a HUGE success!!! Woohoo!!!!!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Help waiting families in Nepal....
Guys, I know that many of us have gone through our own set of struggles in this adoption process. Some of you have waited months, even years, to bring your children home. You have hit unexpected road blocks. Some of you have even had referrals withdrawn from you, because a birth mother has decided to keep her child instead of give them a home with another family. The list could go on and on.
Right now, my heart is in Nepal with all the families who are there waiting with their children. On August 6th, the U.S. basically suspended all adoptions, which basically put all the families with referrals in limbo. Some families were already in Nepal at the time of the announcement. Some were just about to leave. Many have been there since August, just waiting, hoping, praying that the U.S. would grant them a visa for their little ones so they can come home. It has been hard. It has been challenging. But I'm sure they all would say it has been worth it. These children are legally theirs, but the U.S. won't grant their children visas, so they wait....
Please visit this site, http://theywaitnepal.blogspot.com/, and sign a petition to be a voice to bring these miracles home to their forever families. It is free, and it is REALLY easy to fill out. You can make a difference.
And for all of us who are bloggers, I know how easy it can be to completely break down on this kind of public forum. It is easy to lose hope in the midst of great trials. Recently, I started reading another adoptive family's blog and it is so encouraging. This mama has been waiting and facing delay after delay, and yet she continually comes back to the One who is above all else, and who is bigger than every delay and every hurt. If you want to be encouraged with your own waiting woes and hurts, read her blog. You won't regret it.
You can also see another adoptive mama's beautiful pictures (her and her husband are also very well known photographers in the United States) that she has taken of several of the waiting children who already have been joined with their families, but are just waiting to come home. Check out her blog here.
Most of all, just keep praying for these families. And yeah...sign that petition. Get it done.
Right now, my heart is in Nepal with all the families who are there waiting with their children. On August 6th, the U.S. basically suspended all adoptions, which basically put all the families with referrals in limbo. Some families were already in Nepal at the time of the announcement. Some were just about to leave. Many have been there since August, just waiting, hoping, praying that the U.S. would grant them a visa for their little ones so they can come home. It has been hard. It has been challenging. But I'm sure they all would say it has been worth it. These children are legally theirs, but the U.S. won't grant their children visas, so they wait....
Please visit this site, http://theywaitnepal.blogspot.com/, and sign a petition to be a voice to bring these miracles home to their forever families. It is free, and it is REALLY easy to fill out. You can make a difference.
And for all of us who are bloggers, I know how easy it can be to completely break down on this kind of public forum. It is easy to lose hope in the midst of great trials. Recently, I started reading another adoptive family's blog and it is so encouraging. This mama has been waiting and facing delay after delay, and yet she continually comes back to the One who is above all else, and who is bigger than every delay and every hurt. If you want to be encouraged with your own waiting woes and hurts, read her blog. You won't regret it.
You can also see another adoptive mama's beautiful pictures (her and her husband are also very well known photographers in the United States) that she has taken of several of the waiting children who already have been joined with their families, but are just waiting to come home. Check out her blog here.
Most of all, just keep praying for these families. And yeah...sign that petition. Get it done.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
T-Shirt & Hoodie Fundraiser Update...
Hey everyone! We just wanted to give you a status update on our fundraiser. As we stated in our original post about the t-shirts and hoodies, we didn't know if we would be able to get them out by Christmas. Well, I spoke with the company that is going to make them for us, and because of the overload of the Christmas holiday, they are not going to be able to get them done on time. It's possible we may not get them out until the New Year.
I feel awful, and in fact have lost sleep over this, especially since I know there were some of you who didn’t see the disclaimer about holiday delays. I know there were many of you who bought these as Christmas gifts, so I hope the recipients of your gifts will be forgiving of the delay.
Please know that no matter what, you have played a huge role in helping us bring our babies home. You have blessed us so much with your giving hearts. I hope you will forgive us for the delay. We will get your purchases to you as soon as we can!
I feel awful, and in fact have lost sleep over this, especially since I know there were some of you who didn’t see the disclaimer about holiday delays. I know there were many of you who bought these as Christmas gifts, so I hope the recipients of your gifts will be forgiving of the delay.
Please know that no matter what, you have played a huge role in helping us bring our babies home. You have blessed us so much with your giving hearts. I hope you will forgive us for the delay. We will get your purchases to you as soon as we can!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Depraved Indifference....
*I think Wes's post may have gotten lost in the midst of all our fundraiser posts, so I'm reposting because I am so proud of his heart, and want everyone else to benefit from it as well. Enjoy and be challenged!
Good afternoon to all our faithful bloggy-buddies (Don't know it that is a thing, but if not I just coined the word and you read it here first),
Today I, Wes, will be blogging and Nina has the day off; so you best get seat belts for eyes cause it is going to get crazy. (A joke that may be a bit inside for some of you, it is from the IT Crowd, for those umpiring today that may be ball one. I hope I don't end up walking anyone day.)
It is 38 days until we make our way to Africa, Ethiopia to be exact, to go finalize our adoption of Alex and Eliana. And as the day grows near I grow a little more tense, and anxiety builds in my chest. Questions arise, like, "Are we really doing this?" ( You mean this is not just some great idea that we had that makes us feel important and good that we are going to help someone in need, but we actually are going to put ourselves in the front line of compassion and sacrifice). "What if something happens and it goes belly-up?" (The family comes and takes them away or worse the court systems takes longer and we are stuck in Ethiopia for over two months only to be denied). These are all legitimate feelings to have, I am sure, but they are my feelings and I am the one having to deal with them. It is funny how when they are your feelings, they always seem to grab your attention more than if they were your friends on the other side of the country or even next door; I can still go to sleep at night if they are some one else's but when they are mine, not as easily.
But to set the record straight, I have been sleeping fine at night, and during the day ( I have been sick for 2 weeks...blasted wintry weather). You see I have a gift, I have learned how to push any emotional attachment to a situation or person that could be detrimental to my heart, just out of reach. I put it in a safety deposit box, and bury it in the back yard. So when people ask me how I feel I only have to remember how I felt, so the feeling is a memory that can be elaborated or championed with out having to actually feel it in real time. Now I know where it is, and I can show you where it is, but for God's sake don't make me actually have to dig it up and face the feelings of the feeling! That's just unthinkable. So it is not so much a gift but more of a defense mechanism that I learned at a younger age in dealing with despair and depression; it is more like a curse! It is kinda like Davy Jones's chest, the place where he put his heart so no one could hurt him and he couldn't die (see Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end)...what is life if you can't feel the passion of love and the pain of disappointment? It is a life unfulfilled.
I don't really like that I do that and it is something that I have begun to change in my life, through the example of my saviour Jesus Christ. He came as a man; He hungered, he was thirsty, he was weary, he wept, he was angry, he was disappointed, he anguished, he prayed, he worked, and he sighed! He experienced life to the fullest, as a man. Experience for most of us leads us to cynicism, isolation, hard heartedness, fear, and many other defense mechanisms that we feel will keep us from getting hurt. And even as Christians we lead lives that are not free, but bond with fetters from our past. Christ came to set the captives free, and I declare that Freedom over my life and my family. Are bad times going to come? Yes. They have come already, and will continue. Will I be disappointed in my family and friends? Yes, and they with me. But I am not going to let fear keep me from the Joys and Pains of life; life is incomplete without both. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but WHEN desire comes it is a tree of life" [Proverbs 13;12, emphasis mine]. A friend pointed this out to me a few months back that it is not a question of your desires coming to frution, it is merely an issue of time...WHEN desire comes...it will come and when it comes, it will far out way the sickness of your heart; fulfilled desire is the elixir of those with deferred hope.
So as a Christian man...that is, a Christian and a man...how can I disillusion myself into thinking that I can make it all the way to the court hearing and back to the States without putting my heart out there? You see, I am a father now, whether or not I have actually held or done any "fathering" to Alex and Eliana, they are my children. That thought hadn't really sunk in until the last few weeks. I had been trying to float through this adoption without becoming completely (emotionally) invested, but that is rubbish. They need a father, and they need a man to be their father!!! They don't need a father who will care for them only when I can hold them and protect them, they need a father who will do that even though they are thousands of miles between us. Those miles have caused disconnect, disassociation, and decontextualization for me and I am sure there are other fathers that have felt similar (even some mothers). We feel helpless to do anything, so instead of feelings despair and taking appropriate actions (praying, fasting, and talking about them) we simply shut it up and wait until we can unleash our pent up love and compassion on them on gotcha day, or when they are safely in our homes.
Below is a video that echoes my heart. Not just about Alex and Eliana but also for those less fortunate. The one thing that I have let myself feel in this adoption process is the issue of orphans as an epidemic and my family and I (and friends) want to help the root causes in these countries so that there are no more orphans. Is it unattainable? Yes, but that should always be the goal, anything less it not Christ-like!! He came to seek and save the lost, and his desire is that everyone is saved and comes to the knowledge of Truth. [I Tim 2:4] Will everyone be saved? No, but that is still the goal of the God. If he sets his goals that high, then so should we. Until there are no more orphans. We are the salt and light of the world, if not us then who? Unicef? The U.N.? Bono? Some secular organization that will share food and compassion but not Christ? If not us then who???
I want to be a man, a Christian, and a father! Not only to my children but to all of God's "Children". I desire to be his hands and feet. I want to be less so He can be more. I want to feel the Joys and Pains, the Ecstasy and the utter Disappointment. I want this because I know that my God has gone through the same things as me, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin." [Hebrews 4:15] I want to rise up as Shammah did in the Old Testament and face an entire garrison of Philistines, by himself, for a field of lentils; a defenseless and vulnerable thing that if plundered may have never yielded good fruit for harvest, but if protected then the harvest would feed many and for many years to come; it was an investment in the future. Shammah defeated the Philistines and protected the lentils.
Shammah is my name, and protection is my Christian, fatherly, and joyful duty. Amen.
Good afternoon to all our faithful bloggy-buddies (Don't know it that is a thing, but if not I just coined the word and you read it here first),
Today I, Wes, will be blogging and Nina has the day off; so you best get seat belts for eyes cause it is going to get crazy. (A joke that may be a bit inside for some of you, it is from the IT Crowd, for those umpiring today that may be ball one. I hope I don't end up walking anyone day.)
It is 38 days until we make our way to Africa, Ethiopia to be exact, to go finalize our adoption of Alex and Eliana. And as the day grows near I grow a little more tense, and anxiety builds in my chest. Questions arise, like, "Are we really doing this?" ( You mean this is not just some great idea that we had that makes us feel important and good that we are going to help someone in need, but we actually are going to put ourselves in the front line of compassion and sacrifice). "What if something happens and it goes belly-up?" (The family comes and takes them away or worse the court systems takes longer and we are stuck in Ethiopia for over two months only to be denied). These are all legitimate feelings to have, I am sure, but they are my feelings and I am the one having to deal with them. It is funny how when they are your feelings, they always seem to grab your attention more than if they were your friends on the other side of the country or even next door; I can still go to sleep at night if they are some one else's but when they are mine, not as easily.
But to set the record straight, I have been sleeping fine at night, and during the day ( I have been sick for 2 weeks...blasted wintry weather). You see I have a gift, I have learned how to push any emotional attachment to a situation or person that could be detrimental to my heart, just out of reach. I put it in a safety deposit box, and bury it in the back yard. So when people ask me how I feel I only have to remember how I felt, so the feeling is a memory that can be elaborated or championed with out having to actually feel it in real time. Now I know where it is, and I can show you where it is, but for God's sake don't make me actually have to dig it up and face the feelings of the feeling! That's just unthinkable. So it is not so much a gift but more of a defense mechanism that I learned at a younger age in dealing with despair and depression; it is more like a curse! It is kinda like Davy Jones's chest, the place where he put his heart so no one could hurt him and he couldn't die (see Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end)...what is life if you can't feel the passion of love and the pain of disappointment? It is a life unfulfilled.
I don't really like that I do that and it is something that I have begun to change in my life, through the example of my saviour Jesus Christ. He came as a man; He hungered, he was thirsty, he was weary, he wept, he was angry, he was disappointed, he anguished, he prayed, he worked, and he sighed! He experienced life to the fullest, as a man. Experience for most of us leads us to cynicism, isolation, hard heartedness, fear, and many other defense mechanisms that we feel will keep us from getting hurt. And even as Christians we lead lives that are not free, but bond with fetters from our past. Christ came to set the captives free, and I declare that Freedom over my life and my family. Are bad times going to come? Yes. They have come already, and will continue. Will I be disappointed in my family and friends? Yes, and they with me. But I am not going to let fear keep me from the Joys and Pains of life; life is incomplete without both. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but WHEN desire comes it is a tree of life" [Proverbs 13;12, emphasis mine]. A friend pointed this out to me a few months back that it is not a question of your desires coming to frution, it is merely an issue of time...WHEN desire comes...it will come and when it comes, it will far out way the sickness of your heart; fulfilled desire is the elixir of those with deferred hope.
So as a Christian man...that is, a Christian and a man...how can I disillusion myself into thinking that I can make it all the way to the court hearing and back to the States without putting my heart out there? You see, I am a father now, whether or not I have actually held or done any "fathering" to Alex and Eliana, they are my children. That thought hadn't really sunk in until the last few weeks. I had been trying to float through this adoption without becoming completely (emotionally) invested, but that is rubbish. They need a father, and they need a man to be their father!!! They don't need a father who will care for them only when I can hold them and protect them, they need a father who will do that even though they are thousands of miles between us. Those miles have caused disconnect, disassociation, and decontextualization for me and I am sure there are other fathers that have felt similar (even some mothers). We feel helpless to do anything, so instead of feelings despair and taking appropriate actions (praying, fasting, and talking about them) we simply shut it up and wait until we can unleash our pent up love and compassion on them on gotcha day, or when they are safely in our homes.
Below is a video that echoes my heart. Not just about Alex and Eliana but also for those less fortunate. The one thing that I have let myself feel in this adoption process is the issue of orphans as an epidemic and my family and I (and friends) want to help the root causes in these countries so that there are no more orphans. Is it unattainable? Yes, but that should always be the goal, anything less it not Christ-like!! He came to seek and save the lost, and his desire is that everyone is saved and comes to the knowledge of Truth. [I Tim 2:4] Will everyone be saved? No, but that is still the goal of the God. If he sets his goals that high, then so should we. Until there are no more orphans. We are the salt and light of the world, if not us then who? Unicef? The U.N.? Bono? Some secular organization that will share food and compassion but not Christ? If not us then who???
I want to be a man, a Christian, and a father! Not only to my children but to all of God's "Children". I desire to be his hands and feet. I want to be less so He can be more. I want to feel the Joys and Pains, the Ecstasy and the utter Disappointment. I want this because I know that my God has gone through the same things as me, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin." [Hebrews 4:15] I want to rise up as Shammah did in the Old Testament and face an entire garrison of Philistines, by himself, for a field of lentils; a defenseless and vulnerable thing that if plundered may have never yielded good fruit for harvest, but if protected then the harvest would feed many and for many years to come; it was an investment in the future. Shammah defeated the Philistines and protected the lentils.
Shammah is my name, and protection is my Christian, fatherly, and joyful duty. Amen.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tomorrow is the last day and we have about 35 to go!
Hey everyone. We just want to say thank you to everyone who has helped us on this fundraiser so far! You have been awesome!
Tomorrow at 11:59pm, our fundraiser will end, and we still have about 35 shirts or hoodies to sell in order to be fully funded for our adoption. But we were also hoping to raise money for Project HOPEFUL. In order to do that, we need to go over our 35 shirt goal. It seems a almost impossible at this point, but I know God can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine! So keep those orders coming! And please post this on your blog, facebook, or twitter (or all 3!), if you are able. We love you guys! And remember, we are giving away two $50 gift cards to two lucky winners. Each purchased shirt gets an entry!
Go HERE for the original post about the fundraiser for all the purchasing details, and remember, ALL THE PURCHASE TABS ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS BLOG!
*Remember slim fits should be ordered about 2 sizes larger than what you normally wear!
Youth Shirts-Cardinal & Gray
*youth shirts only come in the Africa design.
Tomorrow at 11:59pm, our fundraiser will end, and we still have about 35 shirts or hoodies to sell in order to be fully funded for our adoption. But we were also hoping to raise money for Project HOPEFUL. In order to do that, we need to go over our 35 shirt goal. It seems a almost impossible at this point, but I know God can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine! So keep those orders coming! And please post this on your blog, facebook, or twitter (or all 3!), if you are able. We love you guys! And remember, we are giving away two $50 gift cards to two lucky winners. Each purchased shirt gets an entry!
Go HERE for the original post about the fundraiser for all the purchasing details, and remember, ALL THE PURCHASE TABS ARE ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS BLOG!
*Remember slim fits should be ordered about 2 sizes larger than what you normally wear!
 |
| Cardinal-Africa-Unisex & Slim Fit |
 |
| Charcoal-Africa-Unisex & Slim Fit |
 |
| Hoodie-Africa |
 |
| Cardinal-Grunge-Unises & Slim Fit |
 |
| Charcoal-Grunge-Unisex & Slim Fit |
 |
| Hoodie-Grunge |
*youth shirts only come in the Africa design.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Depraved Indifference....
Good afternoon to all our faithful bloggy-buddies (Don't know it that is a thing, but if not I just coined the word and you read it here first),
Today I, Wes, will be blogging and Nina has the day off; so you best get seat belts for eyes cause it is going to get crazy. (A joke that may be a bit inside for some of you, it is from the IT Crowd, for those umpiring today that may be ball one. I hope I don't end up walking anyone day.)
It is 38 days until we make our way to Africa, Ethiopia to be exact, to go finalize our adoption of Alex and Eliana. And as the day grows near I grow a little more tense, and anxiety builds in my chest. Questions arise, like, "Are we really doing this?" ( You mean this is not just some great idea that we had that makes us feel important and good that we are going to help someone in need, but we actually are going to put ourselves in the front line of compassion and sacrifice). "What if something happens and it goes belly-up?" (The family comes and takes them away or worse the court systems takes longer and we are stuck in Ethiopia for over two months only to be denied). These are all legitimate feelings to have, I am sure, but they are my feelings and I am the one having to deal with them. It is funny how when they are your feelings, they always seem to grab your attention more than if they were your friends on the other side of the country or even next door; I can still go to sleep at night if they are some one else's but when they are mine, not as easily.
But to set the record straight, I have been sleeping fine at night, and during the day ( I have been sick for 2 weeks...blasted wintry weather). You see I have a gift, I have learned how to push any emotional attachment to a situation or person that could be detrimental to my heart, just out of reach. I put it in a safety deposit box, and bury it in the back yard. So when people ask me how I feel I only have to remember how I felt, so the feeling is a memory that can be elaborated or championed with out having to actually feel it in real time. Now I know where it is, and I can show you where it is, but for God's sake don't make me actually have to dig it up and face the feelings of the feeling! That's just unthinkable. So it is not so much a gift but more of a defense mechanism that I learned at a younger age in dealing with despair and depression; it is more like a curse! It is kinda like Davy Jones's chest, the place where he put his heart so no one could hurt him and he couldn't die (see Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end)...what is life if you can't feel the passion of love and the pain of disappointment? It is a life unfulfilled.
I don't really like that I do that and it is something that I have begun to change in my life, through the example of my saviour Jesus Christ. He came as a man; He hungered, he was thirsty, he was weary, he wept, he was angry, he was disappointed, he anguished, he prayed, he worked, and he sighed! He experienced life to the fullest, as a man. Experience for most of us leads us to cynicism, isolation, hard heartedness, fear, and many other defense mechanisms that we feel will keep us from getting hurt. And even as Christians we lead lives that are not free, but bond with fetters from our past. Christ came to set the captives free, and I declare that Freedom over my life and my family. Are bad times going to come? Yes. They have come already, and will continue. Will I be disappointed in my family and friends? Yes, and they with me. But I am not going to let fear keep me from the Joys and Pains of life; life is incomplete without both. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but WHEN desire comes it is a tree of life" [Proverbs 13;12, emphasis mine]. A friend pointed this out to me a few months back that it is not a question of your desires coming to frution, it is merely an issue of time...WHEN desire comes...it will come and when it comes, it will far out way the sickness of your heart; fulfilled desire is the elixir of those with deferred hope.
So as a Christian man...that is, a Christian and a man...how can I disillusion myself into thinking that I can make it all the way to the court hearing and back to the States without putting my heart out there? You see, I am a father now, whether or not I have actually held or done any "fathering" to Alex and Eliana, they are my children. That thought hadn't really sunk in until the last few weeks. I had been trying to float through this adoption without becoming completely (emotionally) invested, but that is rubbish. They need a father, and they need a man to be their father!!! They don't need a father who will care for them only when I can hold them and protect them, they need a father who will do that even though they are thousands of miles between us. Those miles have caused disconnect, disassociation, and decontextualization for me and I am sure there are other fathers that have felt similar (even some mothers). We feel helpless to do anything, so instead of feelings despair and taking appropriate actions (praying, fasting, and talking about them) we simply shut it up and wait until we can unleash our pent up love and compassion on them on gotcha day, or when they are safely in our homes.
Below is a video that echoes my heart. Not just about Alex and Eliana but also for those less fortunate. The one thing that I have let myself feel in this adoption process is the issue of orphans as an epidemic and my family and I (and friends) want to help the root causes in these countries so that there are no more orphans. Is it unattainable? Yes, but that should always be the goal, anything less it not Christ-like!! He came to seek and save the lost, and his desire is that everyone is saved and comes to the knowledge of Truth. [I Tim 2:4] Will everyone be saved? No, but that is still the goal of the God. If he sets his goals that high, then so should we. Until there are no more orphans. We are the salt and light of the world, if not us then who? Unicef? The U.N.? Bono? Some secular organization that will share food and compassion but not Christ? If not us then who???
I want to be a man, a Christian, and a father! Not only to my children but to all of God's "Children". I desire to be his hands and feet. I want to be less so He can be more. I want to feel the Joys and Pains, the Ecstasy and the utter Disappointment. I want this because I know that my God has gone through the same things as me, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin." [Hebrews 4:15] I want to rise up as Shammah did in the Old Testament and face an entire garrison of Philistines, by himself, for a field of lentils; a defenseless and vulnerable thing that if plundered may have never yielded good fruit for harvest, but if protected then the harvest would feed many and for many years to come; it was an investment in the future. Shammah defeated the Philistines and protected the lentils.
Shammah is my name, and protection is my Christian, fatherly, and joyful duty. Amen.
Today I, Wes, will be blogging and Nina has the day off; so you best get seat belts for eyes cause it is going to get crazy. (A joke that may be a bit inside for some of you, it is from the IT Crowd, for those umpiring today that may be ball one. I hope I don't end up walking anyone day.)
It is 38 days until we make our way to Africa, Ethiopia to be exact, to go finalize our adoption of Alex and Eliana. And as the day grows near I grow a little more tense, and anxiety builds in my chest. Questions arise, like, "Are we really doing this?" ( You mean this is not just some great idea that we had that makes us feel important and good that we are going to help someone in need, but we actually are going to put ourselves in the front line of compassion and sacrifice). "What if something happens and it goes belly-up?" (The family comes and takes them away or worse the court systems takes longer and we are stuck in Ethiopia for over two months only to be denied). These are all legitimate feelings to have, I am sure, but they are my feelings and I am the one having to deal with them. It is funny how when they are your feelings, they always seem to grab your attention more than if they were your friends on the other side of the country or even next door; I can still go to sleep at night if they are some one else's but when they are mine, not as easily.
But to set the record straight, I have been sleeping fine at night, and during the day ( I have been sick for 2 weeks...blasted wintry weather). You see I have a gift, I have learned how to push any emotional attachment to a situation or person that could be detrimental to my heart, just out of reach. I put it in a safety deposit box, and bury it in the back yard. So when people ask me how I feel I only have to remember how I felt, so the feeling is a memory that can be elaborated or championed with out having to actually feel it in real time. Now I know where it is, and I can show you where it is, but for God's sake don't make me actually have to dig it up and face the feelings of the feeling! That's just unthinkable. So it is not so much a gift but more of a defense mechanism that I learned at a younger age in dealing with despair and depression; it is more like a curse! It is kinda like Davy Jones's chest, the place where he put his heart so no one could hurt him and he couldn't die (see Pirates of the Caribbean: at world's end)...what is life if you can't feel the passion of love and the pain of disappointment? It is a life unfulfilled.
I don't really like that I do that and it is something that I have begun to change in my life, through the example of my saviour Jesus Christ. He came as a man; He hungered, he was thirsty, he was weary, he wept, he was angry, he was disappointed, he anguished, he prayed, he worked, and he sighed! He experienced life to the fullest, as a man. Experience for most of us leads us to cynicism, isolation, hard heartedness, fear, and many other defense mechanisms that we feel will keep us from getting hurt. And even as Christians we lead lives that are not free, but bond with fetters from our past. Christ came to set the captives free, and I declare that Freedom over my life and my family. Are bad times going to come? Yes. They have come already, and will continue. Will I be disappointed in my family and friends? Yes, and they with me. But I am not going to let fear keep me from the Joys and Pains of life; life is incomplete without both. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but WHEN desire comes it is a tree of life" [Proverbs 13;12, emphasis mine]. A friend pointed this out to me a few months back that it is not a question of your desires coming to frution, it is merely an issue of time...WHEN desire comes...it will come and when it comes, it will far out way the sickness of your heart; fulfilled desire is the elixir of those with deferred hope.
So as a Christian man...that is, a Christian and a man...how can I disillusion myself into thinking that I can make it all the way to the court hearing and back to the States without putting my heart out there? You see, I am a father now, whether or not I have actually held or done any "fathering" to Alex and Eliana, they are my children. That thought hadn't really sunk in until the last few weeks. I had been trying to float through this adoption without becoming completely (emotionally) invested, but that is rubbish. They need a father, and they need a man to be their father!!! They don't need a father who will care for them only when I can hold them and protect them, they need a father who will do that even though they are thousands of miles between us. Those miles have caused disconnect, disassociation, and decontextualization for me and I am sure there are other fathers that have felt similar (even some mothers). We feel helpless to do anything, so instead of feelings despair and taking appropriate actions (praying, fasting, and talking about them) we simply shut it up and wait until we can unleash our pent up love and compassion on them on gotcha day, or when they are safely in our homes.
Below is a video that echoes my heart. Not just about Alex and Eliana but also for those less fortunate. The one thing that I have let myself feel in this adoption process is the issue of orphans as an epidemic and my family and I (and friends) want to help the root causes in these countries so that there are no more orphans. Is it unattainable? Yes, but that should always be the goal, anything less it not Christ-like!! He came to seek and save the lost, and his desire is that everyone is saved and comes to the knowledge of Truth. [I Tim 2:4] Will everyone be saved? No, but that is still the goal of the God. If he sets his goals that high, then so should we. Until there are no more orphans. We are the salt and light of the world, if not us then who? Unicef? The U.N.? Bono? Some secular organization that will share food and compassion but not Christ? If not us then who???
I want to be a man, a Christian, and a father! Not only to my children but to all of God's "Children". I desire to be his hands and feet. I want to be less so He can be more. I want to feel the Joys and Pains, the Ecstasy and the utter Disappointment. I want this because I know that my God has gone through the same things as me, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin." [Hebrews 4:15] I want to rise up as Shammah did in the Old Testament and face an entire garrison of Philistines, by himself, for a field of lentils; a defenseless and vulnerable thing that if plundered may have never yielded good fruit for harvest, but if protected then the harvest would feed many and for many years to come; it was an investment in the future. Shammah defeated the Philistines and protected the lentils.
Shammah is my name, and protection is my Christian, fatherly, and joyful duty. Amen.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Now offering Youth Shirts! One Week Left!
We have YOUTH SHIRTS now! A few people have asked about youth sizes, so we are pleased to announce that we are going to be offering these in Cardinal Red and Sport Gray, in sizes Small through XL. (small = 6-8yrs, medium = 10-12yrs, large = 14-16yrs, xlarge = 18-20yrs)
YOU CAN ORDER ALL SHIRTS FROM THE "ADD TO CART" TABS ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THIS BLOG.
ONE WEEK LEFT!!!
A couple of reminders:
*Once we go over our needed amount (we have faith we will!), we are going to donate the rest to Project HOPEFUL's ministry, Hope+ Sisterhood.
*We can't guarantee Christmas delivery, but we are going to try our best!
*If for some reason a shirt is not available in the original color at the time of order, we will do our best to get a close match.
*Youth shirt colors will vary a little from the adult shirts, since they are made by a different company.
*remember that you will want to order the slim fit shirts 2 sizes bigger than what you usually wear!
YOU CAN ORDER ALL SHIRTS FROM THE "ADD TO CART" TABS ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THIS BLOG.
ONE WEEK LEFT!!!
A couple of reminders:
*Once we go over our needed amount (we have faith we will!), we are going to donate the rest to Project HOPEFUL's ministry, Hope+ Sisterhood.
*We can't guarantee Christmas delivery, but we are going to try our best!
*If for some reason a shirt is not available in the original color at the time of order, we will do our best to get a close match.
*Youth shirt colors will vary a little from the adult shirts, since they are made by a different company.
*remember that you will want to order the slim fit shirts 2 sizes bigger than what you usually wear!
  *We don't have examples of the youth shirts with the designs on them, but we are only offering the Africa design on the youth shirts.  |
Worth It - Africa- Unisex & Slim Fit (Cardinal) |
 |
Worth It - Africa- Unisex & Slim Fit (Charcoal) |
 |
Closeup of the back of the Africa shirt. |
 |
Worth It - Grunge- Unisex & Slim Fit (Charcoal) |
 | |
|
 |
Worth It - Africa - Hoodie |
 |
Worth It - Grunge- Hoodie |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)