Well, we have come to a decision, but it has not been any easy one. I have said all along that I do not want circumstances to dictate God's leading in our lives. Just because there are concerns and issues with the adoption process in Nepal, does not mean that God can't work miracles, and bring children home to their forever families. But at the same time, I realize that I don't have to be a superhero and stick everything out until the bitter end. I have struggled with the idea of switching countries, because I didn't want the switch to be born out of fear of circumstances in Nepal. Well, after a lot of prayer, hours upon hours of taking every thought captive, and numerous conversations with our agency, we have decided to change programs to Ethiopia.
I know this may come as a surprise to many, but we feel that God has given us the go ahead. One of the things that really solidified it for me, was Wes. Before we decided to adopt at all, Wes had it in his head that we had to have a biological child first. He was waiting for God to create a miracle of pregnancy, and then after that first child, we would adopt. Well, God really changed his heart at one point, and Wes realized that there was no reason that a biological child had to come first, and that is when we got started on the track to adopt. In the same way, he said he he had it in his head that we had to adopt from Nepal first. But he quickly realized, that this was not the case. We have been saying all along that we would adopt from Ethiopia after Nepal. Well, it looks like Ethiopia will come first, and perhaps Nepal will be second.
I have debated with myself over and over again about whether or not I should write this post right now, mainly because I know there are other families adopting from Nepal that read this blog. I DON'T want our changing programs to be a stumbling block for anyone else. I don't want it to discourage anyone else in adopting from Nepal, or continuing their process to adopt from Nepal. In writing all this, I am not saying that I believe the Nepal program will fail. I only desire to be open about what we are going through personally.
Wes and I are both 32 years old. Over the last 5 years, we have tried to bring children into our home in every way possible. It seems with every method we have tried, we have hit a road block. I don't know why, but that is the way it has been. It has been frustrating, to say the least, and very painful at times. But we still move forward. We still press on.
And as we start the process with Ethiopia, we know that it carries it's own load of possible obstacles. Yesterday, the very day we made the decision to switch countries, we found out that Ethiopia is almost certainly going to make families make two trips now, instead of the one. This means a lot more money, possibly more time, and it also means that we would have to leave our son or daughter in Ethiopia for several more months, after we have already met him or her. I can't even imagine how painful that would be! And believe, me, it just felt like our desire to adopt a child (from ANYwhere) was laughing in my face yesterday. I mean, seriously....could this process BE any more difficult. The irony of it all is beyond me.
But, I continue to trust that God's plans for us are good. I continue to trust in His love for us. Even though everything around me seems to say, "Quit trying to be parents!", we continue to fight for what the devil doesn't want: To see an orphan be an orphan no more, and to see two childless individuals be childless no more. God's heart for adoption is clear, and no enemy can destroy that, no matter how hard they may try.
So pray for us as we make this transition. I feel scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I literally know hardly anything about Ethiopia, except for what I have read over the last few days. So now Wes and I have to learn all over again. Our hearts are being steered in a different direction, but with the same goal. Pray that we would not be dismayed, but only encouraged by a Father who loves us without condition, and knows what's best for His children.
And I leave a video of and Ethiopian Gotcha Day for your viewing enjoyment. These always make me cry.