Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Sometimes you just have to not think about it....

Okay, granted, it is nigh impossible to NOT think about this adoption. We got back from Haiti over two weeks ago, and the day after we got back, I was SO discouraged. I had no emails about any movement with our paperwork. Nothing. And anyone one who is adopting, or has adopted, knows that a week in adoption land is forEVER. Especially when you're just waiting to get your paperwork to Ethiopia. That day I told Wes that I just needed him to love on me, because I was feeling so crappy. He did just that. Over the next couple of days, as I got back to work, I slowly started to feel better again. And then I found out our paperwork was headed to Washington D.C., which means that we are VERY close to having our dossier sent to Ethiopia. This also boosted my spirits. Of course, once our paperwork is off to Ethiopia, there really is not much else we can do.

I am constantly wondering who our little boy or girl will be. We have our age range set at 0-18 months for either gender, and we have said we are open to twins. And while we are eager for a baby as young as possible, the agency told us it is wise to keep our options a little more open. What have we been hoping for? Well, we both have said we want a baby who is just a few months old. Just ONE. :) Wes has wanted a boy from the beginning. I have wanted a girl. I think Wes will get his wish, and I think I will be VERY happy about that too. Right now, it's all a guessing game. I kind of think we will either get a little boy that is around a year old, or get very young twins. I am guessing that we will get a referral in September, but I hope it is next week. :) Those are my guesses. Probably totally off, but's fun to guess and imagine. That's pretty much all we can do now.

In the mean time, we get to rejoice as other families out there receive their referrals and go to pick up their babies. I get SO excited when someone posts "Referral" in their blog post title. I don't even know most of these people, but we are woven together in this adoption journey.

On Mother's Day, Wes and I went to Olive Garden for lunch. It was CRAZY busy, filled with families celebrating their mothers. They sat us at a nice little table by the window, close to the bar. As we ate our delicious lunch, I recalled a blog post someone had written about my mother and myself. Laurie is an adoptive mother who I've met only through her blog. We've never met in person, but she is one of those that I have been able to connect with on this journey. She and her husband adopted their first child from Nepal, and were close to adopting a little girl from there this year. Unfortunately, with all the craziness in the government of Nepal, many countries have closed down adoptions from Nepal, Sweden being one of them (Laurie's husband is from Sweden, and they live there together with their little boy). Anyways, my mother has really taken to Laurie and her blog, and felt led to knit her two hats: one for her son, and one for her daughter-to-be. These hats arrived in Sweden just a week before they found out they would no longer be able to adopt from Nepal. This act of kindness really touched Laurie's heart, and she wrote about it on her blog. I read the blog out loud to Wes there in Olive Garden. After I read one sentence, I stopped. Wes asked me what was wrong, and I said that I was already crying and I would start up again in a second. I started reading again, and the tears started pouring out. I stopped and looked over at Wes, and he was looking out the window. He turned to me, and his eyes were red and tears were streaming out. In a blubbering chuckle he said, "You need to read this when we get in the car!" But I just kept going. Once I finished reading it, we were both sitting there crying like babies, with the people around us probably wondering what kind of conversation we were having that was causing so much sorrow. Of course, we weren't sad. We were just moved. Some may read it, and wonder why the heck it made us cry so much. But this adoption process....the way your heart is changed....the way God stirs things up inside of you that you didn't even know existed within you....the reality of what adoption really changes moves you deeply. Once you take the dive into adoption, you will get MESSED UP!!! And I mean that in a GOOD way! So come on over to the MESSY side! You won't regret it!

I can't wait to meet our little baby/babies. I can't even imagine what that day will be like. I have watched a million referral and gotcha day videos. I have cried through them all. But the fact that one day it will be us....that blows my mind. So for now, I am trying to calm my heart and mind. I am trying to tame the eager and crazy impatient Nina within, so I can survive the waiting that is to come. I am trying NOT to think about it, but that's pretty much impossible, so I am settling with keeping busy and praying for our growing family.

But, I thought I would post a referral video today. I have seen many of these many times over, but this is one I really enjoy.
Happy Wednesday.

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